Anal Cunt - "Fuckin' A" (2010)

You downloaded some Anal Cunt and I noticed that you're gay.

1. Fuck Yeah!

[Written by: Seth Putnam & Josh Martin]

Picking up sluts in a bar
Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!
Getting head in the back of my car
Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!
Blowing eardrums with my Marshall stacks
Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!
Shooting heroin and smoking crack
Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!

[Chorus:]
Yeah, yeah, yeah - Fuck Yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...Fuck Yeah!

You said you're eighteen but you're only twelve
Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!
You said you're racist and you've got big tits
Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!
You pay my bar tab with your parents card
Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!
You work all day while I fuck other chicks
Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!

[Chorus]

You invite us over to cum in your face
Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!
Me and the boys end up trashing the place
Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!
Tons of sluts fighting over my cum
Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!
Don't worry sluts, you'll all get some
Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!

[Chorus]

[Backing Vocals Performed by: The Whipping Bastard (Raunchous Brothers), The Honorable Reverend Fuckface Chainsaw (Vaginal Jesus), Jim Crow (Vaginal Jesus & Mudoven), Ken Cmar, Seth, Tim and Josh]

2. Cranking My Band's Demo On A Box At The Beach

[Written by: Seth Putnam & Josh Martin]

I'm on the beach crankin' my band's sound
The bitches know we're the hottest around
Their pussies getting hot, juicy, and wet
Cause we're the best band they've heard yet

[Pre chorus:]
I like girls, I like metal, I live for pussy, I like getting laid

[Chorus]
Crankin' my bands demo on a box at the beach (x4)

I'm in the sun, I'm getting hot and tan
There's a line of 50 sluts who want to fuck me in the back of my van

[Pre chorus]
[Chorus]

I see you there, in your tight bikini, gonna drag you to the back of my van, and make you suck on my weenie!

I'm on the stage, I'm burning fast and loud
Gonna have my roadie give backstage passes to all the sluts I pick from the crowd

[Pre chorus]
[Chorus]

TURN IT UP MOTHER FUCKER!

3. Loudest Stereo

[Written by: Seth Putnam & Josh Martin]

This stupid slut brought me home last night
I robbed her after I got laid
I stole her stereo, it's the loudest ever made
I crank it up to ten all night, I'm much sicker than you
I'm crankin' Anal Cunt, Buckcherry, and Mötley Crüe

[Pre chorus:]
Are you ready, are you ready, are you ready to rock?
I've got the loudest stereo on the block

[Chorus:]
Loudest stereo on the block [x2]

My stereo's so fucking loud the old people moved away
All the sluts moved into town and they're here to stay
All day long, I've got sluts riding on my cock
I love metal, I love pussy, I fucking love to rock

[Pre chorus]
[Chorus]

I've got porn stars and junior high girls hanging out
My game of black jack's a nine and twelve year old putting out
I don't wanna waste my time with stupid fucking cock teases
All they'll get from me are a bunch of diseases

[Pre chorus]
[Chorus]

[Backing Vocals Performed by: Jim Crow (Vaginal Jesus & Mudoven), Ken Cmar, Seth, Tim, and Josh]

4. Kicking Your Ass And Fuckin' Your Bitch

[Written by: Seth Putnam]

I just ordered my 30th whiskey
Your bitch comes over, starts gettin' frisky
She says, “Aren't you the badass singer of A.C.?”
Next thing you know she starts to blow me

Your loser boyfriend is getting pissed off
As she sees you sucking me off
The little pussy spills my fucking glass
Next thing you know I'm kicking his fucking ass

[Chorus:]
I'm kicking your ass and I'm fucking your bitch (x4)

I punch his face in then I pull down her pants
I start to fuck her in her fucking ass
She starts screamin' and yellin' my name
She fucking dumps you cause you're fucking lame

[Chorus]

After I fuck her she's no use anymore
She crawls back to you she's a worthless whore
Now you're covered in blood and she's filled with my cum
I tell the bartender, “Bring me drink 31!”

[Chorus]

5. Hot Girls On The Road

[Written by: Seth Putnam & Josh Martin]

I saw this stupid cunt in the front of the stage
I got hard because she was underage
I had a dumb roadie give her a backstage pass
I had her deep throat me while I watch Tango & Cash

[Pre chorus:]
Road pussy, road pussy, road pussy [x2]

[Chorus:]
Hot girls on the road, hot girls on the road, hot girls on the road
Hot girls on the road, hot girls on the road, hot girls on the road
Hot girls on the road...on the fucking road!

Hot girls on our tour bus
Hot girls are all blowing us
Hot girls bring us smack
Hot girls bring us crack

[Pre chorus]
[Chorus]

Hot girls do whatever we say
Hot girls all want to get laid
Hot girls give us all their cash
Hot girls love it in the ass

[Pre chorus]
[Chorus]

[Backing Vocals Performed by: Ken Cmar, Seth, Tim, and Josh]

6. Whiskey, Coke And Sluts

7. All I Give A Fuck About Is Sex

[Written by: Seth Putnam]

Going on dates is fucking lame
I couldn't be bothered to remember your name
Just want to get fucked and some more of the same
I don't got time for these fucking games

[Chorus:]
Cause all I give a fuck about is sex
All I give a fuck about is fucking sex
I said, all I give a fuck about is sex
All I give a fuck about is fucking sex

I'm not gonna spend a fucking cent on you
You're just another stupid cunt for me to screw
Once you're used up I'll fuck someone new
They'll always be some fucking useless cunt to do

[Chorus]

On my tour bus or when I'm backstage
There's a never-ending line of cunts that want to get laid
Every bitch is blonde, dumb, and underage
Gonna give each one herpes, hep, and hopefully A.I.D.S.

[Chorus]

8. I'm Gonna Give You A.I.D.S.

[Written by: Seth Putnam & Josh Martin]

You're only useful when you're sucking my dick
The mere sight of you makes me fucking sick
You're a stupid groupie following me from state to state
Like I said before you're only good to give me a blow

[Chorus:]
I'm gonna give you A.I.D.S. [x8]

[Post Chorus:]
I'm so glad, I'm so glad, I'm so glad, I've got fucking A.I.D.S. [x2]

I'll let you let me fuck you in your fucking ass
I'll give you A.I.D.S. while I shove it in your ass
I'll fuck you over and over again in the ass
And then I'll fuck you in your fucking ass

[Chorus]
[Post Chorus]

I'll give you A.I.D.S., I'll let you swallow my cum
Because I'm a total fucking scum
I'm a loser and I've got no class
So I'm gonna fuck you in your fucking ass

[Backing Vocals Performed by: Ken Cmar, Seth, & Tim]

9. Yay! It's Pink!

[Written by: Seth Putnam]

My wife brought home this groupie slut one night
She was pretty hot, a sexy, slutty sight
We wanted a threesome with this stupid cunt
My wife licked my ass while the groupie sucked my front

[Chorus:]
“YAY! It's pink!” when she saw my cock
“YAY! It's pink!” she was used to niggers' cocks
“YAY! It's pink!” a stupid little cunt
“YAY! It's pink!” ...and she was born in the fucking 90's

A rockstar groupie blowing me in my bed
She screamed, “Anal Cunt!” so I kicked her in the head
When she started to cry I slammed my fist in her ass
I was turned on by her tears so I came really fast

[Chorus]

Gave most to my wife then gave the dumb slut a taste
But she was so annoying so I punched her in face
Looking pretty hot covered in with blood and my cum
Only 17, and so fucking dumb

[Chorus]

The very next day we wanted her gone
She thought that we liked her; she was totally wrong
Her nigger came to get her so she started to pout
I yelled “Get your shit, and get the FUCK OUT!”

[Chorus]

[Backing Vocals Performed by: Julie Jett Putnam]

10. I Wish My Dealer Was Open

[Written by: Seth Putnam & Josh Martin]

I wish my dealer was open
It's too late to get some more coke
My dealer is closed for the night
And for once I'm not totally broke

I wish my dealer was open
I wish my dealer was open
I wish my dealer was fucking open
I wish my dealer was open

You stupid spic, why aren't you open
You fucking spic, why won't you answer your fucking phone
You goddamned spic, why aren't you open
You worthless spic, I know that you're fucking home

I wish my dealer was open
I wish my dealer was open
I wish my dealer was fucking open
You god dammed fucking spic pick up the phone

ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE, SPIC!!!

The Creations - To Whom It May Concern 7" (1966)

"The Creations of Elizabeth City, North Carolina", declares the label on this record. As mysterious as I'd like this nugget to be, the entire EP (yes, 4 songs, 33rpm) is interspersed with narrative from this teenage garage group's front man (Bobby Sutton), who proudly and energetically introduces each song with tidbits of info. This would be perhaps odd and off-putting if the record weren't a live recording done in a bed room. A set-up like this is something immediately identifiable to me and, i'm sure, many other aspiring and formerly aspiring musicians. The energy from this lo-fi, no-nonsense recording is a kind you can only get from teenagers playing in what is surely their own favorite band. Cheap organ, barking guitar, lazy bluesy rhythms...it's all anyone could want from a band coming up around the same time as The Sonics, 13th Floor Elevators, and The Pretty Things.

Damnload it

- Mikey

Sound & Shape - Now Comes the Mystery (2011)

 

Ryan Caudle of Nashville’s “Sound and Shape” has always been an enigmatic recurring character in my life. When I was in high school and going to local shows more freely and frequently (thanks, in part, to the worlds greatest ’83 El Camino), Caudle was fronting one of my favorite local groups: Oliver’s Army. This was the band in town that did the best job of framing the late 90’s/early 00’s math-y emo sound that was fresh and identifiable to me at the time. They were every bit as good as Thursday or On The Might of Princes and fronted by this brooding dark songwriter with a voice suspiciously like Elvis Costello:  Ryan Caudle.

            Eventually that band dissolved, my musical interests shifted, and The Sound and Shape were born. They toured extensively in the late 2000s and put out some material that I, for the most part, ignored. The sound was proggy and frantic somewhere between Santana’s Abraxas and Rush. Despite losing my attention, this is a band that has earned the right to be called undeniably good in all that they do.

This new 4 song EP, “Now Comes the Mystery” really gets back to Caudle’s roots as a great songwriter and not just a capable conductor of grand prog-rock. The solid structure of the music on this release is grounded well with guitar textures that don’t demand the spotlight and melodic arrangement worthy of great baroque-pop groups like The Zombies. The band bravely adds an acoustic ballad for the second track which (although it rubs me the wrong way at first) proves to be a pretty good and very mature effort. “The Sacred and Profane” is a great urgent sounding tune with hints of power pop like The Soft Boys, vocals that remind me of Steely Dan, and a grand guitar hook chorus suggesting bands like The Mars Volta. It closes with my favorite track, “Bells at Twelve.”   “Bells…” gives me the same feeling Oliver’s Army used to back in high school.  It’s a soaring anthem in 6/8 that is thick with flowing textures and gripping tension.  I would say this particular track gives the same thoughtful vibes as anything from George Harrison’s “All Things Must Pass.”  All together, this is a solid release and has certainly turned my attention back to the band.  Give these guys a listen and order a copy of the EP or just download it at their bandcamp page.

http://soundandshape.bandcamp.com/ 

-Mikey

Calicocat - Royal Jelly (2011)

I had not heard of Calicocat prior to checking out their album "Royal Jelly" on Bandcamp. As a Nashville band, I had certain preconceptions about what I would hear when I pressed the play button. Let's just say I was pleasantly surprised.

The first track "i.e., Socialism" grabbed my attention from the opening riff. Vocals on this track, and throughout the album, are reminiscent of bands like Wolf Parade and the Shins, which is not a bad thing if you ask me. Musically the songs flow from sweet distorted hooks to dreamy passages laced with chorus and reverb. The easy-going feel of "Sopohomore Slump" is a great Pavement-esque jam, while the closer ""Mean" Joe Green" builds and builds to a great climax to end the EP. Calicocat succeeds in creating well-crafted songs without sounding formulaic, drawing from a myriad of sources to craft their sound. I could list any number of bands which they sound similar to throughout the record, but that would be pointless. They find ways to make these sounds their own. The 6 song album is definitely a great listen from start to finish; I never wanted skip to the next track. And that is an accomplishment in itself. So go to their Bandcamp page, download the album for free, and share it with your friends. I know that's what I'm going to do.

Now if only I could figure out when their next show is...

-Michael Davis

Download this shit on bandcamp right here

Polvo - Cor-Crane Secret (1992)

Cor-Crane Secret is Polvo's 1992 debut album. These guys are considered pioneers of math-rock, but I'm not sure this album completely demonstrates that. Mostly, the record sounds like gritty noise pop somewhere in between Sonic Youth and early Dinosaur Jr - notably in the song "Can I Ride?". Certainly this is Polvo's best effort and most popular release. The influence of Cor-Crane Secret is very apparent in the mid-90s indie and emo scene with bands like Joan of Arc or Cursive and their Saddle Creek Records contemporaries. The difference is less whining and more psychotic noise, innovative texture, and unconventional guitar tunings. Truly a classic.

Click to dnlwd

Mikey

Autechre - Quaristice (2008)

Hervé This is a French chemist who makes no music, as far as I know, and works mainly with food within the field of "Molecular Gastronomy" where he does things like unboil eggs. Among other things, he has gained attention through cooking only with elements (sodium, lithium, and stuff), creating edible compounds that the internet tells me are delicious. The point is, these dishes are so unlike traditional food, that even culinary experts have great difficulty describing the experience of eating them. By breaking down food into its most basic components and reassembling, This has created a whole new paradigm. It is this sort of thinking that is most helpful when approaching Autechre. This duo started in techno more than 20 years ago, developing a sound that has disintegrated into something much more unfamiliar. To call their music experimental is unfair, because clearly there is meticulous design behind every composition; experimental listening is more like it. There just isn't ever a guaranteed result when approaching these pieces of sound, even when each fragment could exist within the realm of popular dance music. But sometimes the music's relationship to the conventional is too baffling (these guys write their own software for making this stuff) and the overarching design too obscured for much reference. This also is by design. When Autechre performs, they play in pitch darkness and they play loud. Autechre is about sound itself. This applies to most stuff post-2000, but you never know. They are putting music out all the time recently and just sort of do what they want. For my money 2008's Quaristice has just about everything they do in it, from the ambient to the banger to the brainmelt. Music to scare your cat. "90101-5I-I", "Tankakern" and "Fol3" float my boat, but the whole thing's great.
Autechre's importance lies in the fact that they may be the first electronic act to eliminate the space between artist and expression. Electronic music has always been characterized by the limitations inherent in its technology. Your 303 drum machine can only DO so many things, therefore establishing an aesthetic upon technological boundaries. Autechre are the first artists, in my mind, to reach a level of fluency within their craft that these limitations are virtually nonexistent. Where before dance music has made its creators more robotic, Autechre has made the electronic more human.
G et i t he re

-Andrew Black

Funkadelic - Maggot Brain (1971)

Though the phrase "If you suck my soul, I will lick your funky emotions" was not uttered on this record, never has it been more applicable. If P-Funk records are about a 1 for 1 transfer of altered and elevated consciousness from George Clinton to me, this one works best. It is also the grimiest, heaviest, trippiest, ecstatic, unrestrained album Clinton's minions ever released. They cover an incredible amount of ground in 7 tracks. "Can You Get to That" is a perfect pop song (way better than the song Sleigh Bells sampled it for). "Super Stupid" is crushing. The title track is the only 10 minute guitar solo I care to listen to. I want the album cover on the ceiling above my bed, like 8x8 feet.
 Lowndoad it, white boy!

-Andrew Black